In a world where people are serious about cupcake ATMs and bacon coffins, a chowder vending machine doesn’t sound so fishy at first glance. Take a look at this press release from the local pranksters/clam kings at Ivar’s, announcing 24-hour kiosks that make “customized, mixed-to-order chowders at the touch of a button,” and see how long it takes to figure out it’s an April Fool’s joke. (It was posted a couple places over the weekend where people never got to the point of figuring it out.)
The imaginary kiosks were described as offering chowder flavor combinations that went “from coconut to capers.” When they mentioned the machines adding optional “clam nectar for peak performance” or even mixing in an espresso shot for extra pick-me up, the Haglund-memorial-stunt button really started flashing. (Another nice touch: Spokeswoman “Abril Pheules.”)
The true giveaway, though? The notion of a “deep sea-soning” bar next to the kiosk, stocked with favorite chowder toppings including parsley, natural Puget Sound sea salt, chives and other delicious condiments.” No way would that get past the King County Department of Health . Keep Clam anyways, Ivar’s… and if you take away the espresso shots, coconut, and capers, maybe you could get a real chowder kiosk ready, complete with fresh-baked bread bowls? I’d take that over a cupcake ATM any day.
Photo: Imaginary “Chowder Select” machine courtesy of Ivar’s.