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August 26, 2014 at 6:01 AM

12 Days of Simpsons, Day 6: Mr. Burns’ guide to business

C. Montgomery Burns, king of bossery./Matt Groening, FOX

C. Montgomery Burns, king of bossery./Matt Groening, FOX

Charles Montgomery “Monty” Burns is really, really old and really, really rich. And he doesn’t ever remember Homer Simpson’s name, even though Homer has been working at Burns’ nuclear plant since 1989, FCOL. Burns went to Yale. He has a devoted minion. He travels in his own railcar. He has hounds (and loves to say in a sinister tone, “release the hounds.”) In short, this walking poke at U.S. capitalism is one of the best fictional bosses ever.

So in honor of the FXX channel’s broadcast (going on now!) of all 552 episodes of “The Simpsons,” we’re sharing what we think makes the show great…which means a tip of the Panama hat to Mr. Burns. Some of his priceless (well, for him, nothing is priceless) pearls:

“What good is money if you can’t use it to strike fear into the hearts of men?”

“I’ll keep it short and sweet. Family. Religion. Friendship.
These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.”

“Answer those phones, install a computer system, and rotate my office so the window faces the hills.”

“I’ll either tickle your ribs or feed them to my dogs.”

Comments | More in Television | Topics: 12 Days of Simpsons, FXX, Mr. Burns

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