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Brier Dudley offers a critical look at technology and business issues affecting the Northwest.

November 30, 2006 at 5:09 PM

Bill Gates for president? Dilbert votes yes

The campaign began Nov. 19 with a blog post by Scott Adams, the cartoonist who pens Dilbert, who seems serious about Bill running for president.

That was followed up Tuesday when someone created the semi-serious Web site, BillGatesforpresident.net. Both efforts then appeared on Slashdot today for some early polling.

I hate to break it to them, but I asked Gates in June if he’ll ever run for office and he said no.

Politics? I’ll never run, I can’t see any circumstance where I would ever run for any office. It just wouldn’t suit what I’m good at,” he said.

Adams initially mentioned it sort of in passing, after riffing on atheists and politics. Then he followed it up today with a longer pitch for Bill.

From Adams’ Nov. 19 post:

I think that in an election cycle or two you will see an atheist business leader emerge as a legitimate candidate for president. And his name will be Bill Gates.

By then, Bill Gates will have done so much good for the world through his charitable works that combined with his business success he’ll appear more qualified than any other candidate. His early bachelor life and some of his business practices will come back to haunt him if he runs, but he can still win with this simple slogan: “Who would you rather have on your side?” He’ll confess to all of his past imperfections and say that presidents are poor choices for role models. He’ll advise you to look to your parents for role models while you let him run the country.

I doubt Bill Gates is considering a run for president right now, largely because it’s so hard to make a difference from that job. His charities will have more impact. But I think he’ll someday realize that the world needs a rational thinker in the top spot and no one else can win.

At least you’d know he wouldn’t be in it for the money or to speed up the Rapture. He has my vote.

From today’s followup:

Forget about whatever Bill Gates did in the past that made you curl up with your free copy of Linux and cry. In his first week in office he’d probably link Microsoft Virtual Earth to the government’s spy satellites so you can look for Osama yourself. I’ve always felt that terrorism is a technology problem disguised as a political problem. Bill Gates can fix that.

For my president I want a mixture of Mother Teresa, Carl Sagan, Warren Buffet, and Darth Vader. Bill has all of their good stuff. His foundation will save more lives than Mother Teresa ever did. He’s got the Carl Sagan intelligence and rational mind. He’s a hugely successful businessman. And I have every reason to believe he can choke people just by concentrating in their general direction. You can’t tell me that wouldn’t be useful at a summit.

I’ve always felt that you should pick a president the same way you’d pick an attorney to help you out of a dangerous legal problem. Do you want the attorney who dresses nicely and belongs to your church? Or do you want the attorney who can rip out your opponent’s heart and put it on the hibachi before he dies? Maybe it’s just me, but I want an attorney who is part demon. And I want a president who isn’t afraid to make rational decisions.

Now in the interest of balance, I have to acknowledge there would be some downside to the Bill Gates presidency. For example, he doesn’t have a voice you’d want to hear every night on the news. But I’d be happy if he just stayed home and ran things by e-mail. I really don’t need to hear him yammering to know he’s working. If I have questions, I’ll check his blog.

Second — and this is the most disturbing part — I noticed on the www.BillGatesforPresident.net web site that Bill is starting to look like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons. (See his picture with Queen Elizabeth.) That’s only going to get worse. But I’m willing to overlook it.

Bill Gates for president — you could say you have a better idea, but you’d be lying. Are there any pollsters out there who want to see how he stacks up against the field?

Comments | Topics: Microsoft

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