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Hot Stone League

Larry Stone gives his take on a wide array of baseball issues and weighs in about the Mariners, too.

March 5, 2013 at 9:30 AM

Some nickname ideas for rampaging Mariners’ offense — with a catch

Photo by Associated  Press

Photo by Associated Press

As the Mariners continue to crush the ball with homers like this by Raul Ibanez and this by Kyle Seager yesterday, giving them 24 in 11 spring games, it’s clearly time to hang a nickname on this bunch. I mean, you can’t call them a fluke anymore — the season is nearly a third over.

The Cactus League season, that is. I’m not crazy enough to forecast that this is going to continue once the Mariners move to Safeco Field — even a cozier Safeco Field — and they start playing for real. The debate about whether all this offense is predictive¬† is a great one, but I’m not interested in that now. It’s time to honor their spring-training offensive prowess with a spring- training nickname. Every great offense has a nickname, like the Bronx Bombers, the Lumber Company, Harvey’s Wall Bangers, The Big Red Machine, and so on. The exhibition Mariners, by George (Herman Ruth), need one, too.

But I’m not going to suggest anything that will haunt me later¬† if the Mariners regress to the weak-hitting team we’ve seen the past few years. Like I said, I’m not crazy. This nickname project is only built to last for the next three weeks — which Mariners fans hope isn’t the case with Seattle’s offense.

So here are some of my suggestions. If you’ve got any, I’d love to hear them.

The Dry Heat Elite

The Score-pions

The Grand Slamyons

The Arizona Maul League

The Cactus Jackers

The Sonoran Slammers

The Camelback-back-back-back-back Attack (in honor of nearby Camelback Mountain)

The Peoria Pounders

The Peoria Have-A-Liners (in honor of their Arizona Fall League team, the Peoria Javelinas)

The Maricopa County Crushers

The Wall-Rattlers

The Berm Firm (in honor of the grassy knoll in the outfield where balls land at the Peoria Sports Complex; speaking of which…)

The Peoria Sports Complex Wrecking Crew

The Arizona Yardinals

The Larry Hits-Geralds

The Circle-K Base Circlers (in honor of the ubiquitous mini-mart)

The Arizona Leverage Company (in honor of the Arizona Beverage Company, producers of Arizona Iced Tea)

The Arizona State Run Devils

The Desert Sand-Blasters

And finally, in honor of a mountain not quite as famous as its Colorado namesake, but standing proud in Maricopa County, here’s one that Mariner fans hope isn’t predictive:

The Pikes Peak-Too-Sooners





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