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Northwest Voices

Seattle Times letters to the editor

November 12, 2008 at 3:37 PM

Mayor of the City of Music

See you at Hempfest, dude

I would like to congratulate Mayor Greg Nickels for his latest accomplishments in these difficult times.

Proclaiming Seattle as “The City of Music” was a courageous and brilliant move that will send other cities scrambling to match this bold declaration [“Nickels proclaims Seattle the ‘City of Music,’.” Times, News, Oct. 30]. I can’t quite figure out why he did it shortly after closing down a few local music venues, but who am I to question the grand plan of the mayor of the City of Music.

Moving forward with his ban on legally permitted handguns in city-owned parks and buildings will ensure that only criminals and gangbangers will be packing heat on city property. This will help to ensure hassle-free stickups and robberies, which will undoubtedly reduce the overcrowding problem in our prisons. Counterintuitive yet absolutely brilliant.

Regarding the mayor’s earth-changing plan to put a fee on the use of plastic bags: Although it is a bit early to speculate, many observers believe that this move will likely end the worldwide threat of global warming and help him win that long overdue Nobel Peace Prize.

Finally, unnamed but reliable sources at City Hall have informed me that Nickels plans to permanently shut down all of the city’s Mexican, Chinese and Japanese restaurants in an attempt to bring an immediate halt to illegal immigration.

These actions didn’t seem to make much sense until I suddenly remembered his previous proclamation to make marijuana possession the lowest priority for Seattle police. See you at next year’s Hempfest, dude, and keep dreaming up those wacky ideas.

— David Archer, Seattle

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