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Northwest Voices

Seattle Times letters to the editor

September 20, 2014 at 8:40 AM

Domestic violence: Don’t only assign blame

The high-profile instances of domestic violence in the NFL underscore a prevalent and deeper problem [“How to send chills down NFL’s spine,” Opinion, Sept. 18].

Domestic violence and familial trauma affect as many as 60 percent of adults in the U.S. This is common, pervasive and occurs in a culture that keeps such matters hidden under a cloak of blame and shame. Adding more blame, shame and punishment to this multigenerational problem will not help the individuals involved.

We know from neuroscience that trauma and intrafamily violence affect how the brain is wired and influences our ability to manage impulses, regulate behavior, relate to each other, thrive in school and contribute to society. We know that brains can change; learning new tools can break the cycle of intrafamily violence.

Instead of continuing to inflict pain on each other (and the perpetrators), we can work together and support each other. Learning parenting and relationship skills, problem-solving and how to manage strong feelings in the moment can help each of us become the human beings we want to be.

Karen Schrantz and Jody McVittie, Sound Discipline

Comments | More in Domestic violence | Topics: domestic violence, Jody McVittie, Karen Schrantz

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