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Opinion Northwest

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June 10, 2013 at 7:13 AM

Poll: Are Seattle men bad at asking women out on dates?

In case you missed it, our Saturday guest column by Danielle Campoamor is a must read. In “What’s wrong with Seattle’s dating scene,” Campoamor says the problem is the men:

“Much like a Seattleite merging onto a freeway, our men’s apprehensive tendencies leave them incapable of finding either the open lane or the open bar stool.”

When I pitched the op-ed idea to Campoamor, I was thinking back on my own dating life before I got married, and how I realized after a year of living in Seattle that I would have to ask men out if I wanted to go on any dates at all. Seattle men I encountered at social events were too passive to make the first move.

For awhile I wondered whether I was just unattractive, until I left town for other cities. Living in Seattle was like residing on the planet Krypton. As soon as I went to elsewhere, total strangers would strike up conversations with me. My average of getting asked out on the road was 1.0000.

I once got asked out on a Los Aneles freeway. A car repeatedly flashed his brights at me, then pulled up alongside and pointed for me to pull over. I pulled off the freeway, thinking my headlights were out. The driver got out of his car, knocked on my passenger window and said, “Would you like to go out sometime?”

The circle of passive men extends to my husband, Danny O’Neil. I asked him if he wanted to go out on our first date. He claims that following my initial ask, he was assertive about pursuing all progressive steps, such as pushing for us to move in together. (He also waited six days for an answer after proposing to me.)

His points are moot because if I had never asked him out, none of that would have happened. Danny can be publicly shamed at @brockndanny.

On Saturday, a salesman I met said the passiveness extends to the gay community. He said gay men are much less assertive about asking men out in Seattle too, despite the large gay community here. (In case you’re wondering, he was cute.)

What do you think? Are Seattle men more passive about asking women (and/or men) out on dates? Let us know in the poll below.

Comments | More in Polls | Topics: dating, love, men


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