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Popcorn & Prejudice: A Movie Blog

Seattle Times writer Moira Macdonald muses on moviegoing. Email Moira: mmacdonald@seattletimes.com.

April 21, 2010 at 10:36 AM

The rom-com blues . . . again

So, last night I saw “The Back-up Plan,” a romantic comedy starring Jennifer Lopez that’s a) not very funny, and b) set in a glassily perfect world I don’t recognize — namely, one crawling with handsome, charming, unattached cheesemongers who are simply dying to be in a committed relationship. This is the kind of movie that brings about female fantasy of a variety I hadn’t even considered: For example, what do you think the man in this movie does when he can’t sleep because he’s upset? He gets up in the middle of the night and makes pancakes. Perfect ones. And then, presumably, he cleans up afterwards. You can practically hear the women in the audience swooning.
Anyway, this is the latest in a long, long string of Hollywood romantic comedies that lack chemistry and wit. (Just this year: “Leap Year,” “Valentine’s Day,” “The Bounty Hunter” . .. need I go on?) I’ve ranted about this before, and no doubt will again, but today am doing it a little differently — a rom-com song, the first verse of which popped into my head while driving home last night. It’s to be sung to the tune of “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?,” with your best Julie Andrews warble.

All I want is a rom-com where
No one gets vomit in their hair
And brains aren’t made of air
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Lots of lame plots without much meat
Lots of stars making not much heat
And by the end I’m beat –
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly?
Oh, so loverly if just once they could make something sweet
I would jump and click my heels – and, maybe I’d even tweet
But I’m still waiting for The One
Sorry, J-Lo, your dull flick’s done
Why can’t screen love seem fun?
Oh, wouldn’t it be loverly . . . loverly .. . . loverly . . . . loverly . . . loverly.

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