I’ll be off next week, on a long-planned vacation that’s rapidly turning into the Myrna Loy Memorial Week Off, during which time I will quote a lot of lines from “The Thin Man” and maybe have a martini or two. (Those who’ve been following the blog this week know what I’m talking about.) Back in the office January 9, just in time for some delicious discussion of “Downton Abbey,” which kicks off its new season January 8 on PBS. You’ll all be watching, right? What will happen between Mary and Matthew? Is O’Brien still scheming? What line will Maggie Smith have us all repeating on Monday morning? Can’t wait.
In the meantime, here’s something I hope you will enjoy: a sneak preview of my annual yearend poem, a tradition I started back in 2005 simply because I was procrastinating — writing a poem (in the style of Roger Angell’s yearend “Greetings, Friends!” poems in the New Yorker) seemed like more fun than whatever it was that I was supposed to be doing. Very silly, I know, but it’s a kick for me and has become an annual event. Know that it goes out to you with very sincere wishes for a happy, healthy, and cinematically satisfying year. See you on the 9th!
Dear readers, look — once more it’s time
To review this year’s films, in rhyme!
Let’s ponder what we saw unspool
That made us cry, or laugh, or drool
Or roll our eyes, or snore, or bounce
Or cancel our Netflix accounts.
First off, I hear a headboard shaking . . .
Can this be true? Is ‘Dawn’ still breaking?
That “Twilight” girl, at last, was wed.
(It’s hard to tell who’s really dead.)
But elsewhere, things were more compelling
(What is that bad thing Edward’s smelling?)
The Hogwarts tale came to an end —
We all felt like we’d lost a friend.
The year brought other old pals, too:
The Muppets; Sherlock; Jane Eyre; Pooh;
Depp’s Captain Jack, that rum-soaked rover;
Those dimwit guys — yes, still hungover.
We loved a badly shirted Clooney
And greeted “Dragon’s” goth girl, Rooney.
Brad Pitt was suave in “Moneyball”;
Spacey sold short in “Margin Call.”
“Bridesmaids” ended with a wedding;
“Shame” brought us much rumpled bedding.
That Olsen sis was pretty keen
In “Martha Marcy May Marlene.”
And while we’re watching M-names spin
Behold: Michelle as Marilyn!
Remember our comedic luck
As Woody’s “Midnight” chimes were struck?
Or “Hugo’s” charms, in Paris light?
(How nice to see 3D done right!)
“The Ides of March” showed Gosling’s flair
“New Year’s Eve” had well, nice hair.
(But note the year’s most well-tressed martyr:
Bellatrix, or H.B. Carter.)
Cruise grimaced right through “M.I: 4”
While Branagh — huh? — directed “Thor. “
Of flops we surely had our fill:
Let’s say no more of “Jack and Jill.”
“The Change-Up” left our spirits down,
And who remembers “Larry Crowne”?
But in these depths no more I’ll delve
So let’s now hope that 2012
Will bring us joys, of many sizes
(Who’s ready for “The Dark Knight Rises”?)
One wish, and then my verse is done:
Happy New Year, everyone!