Let’s start right off with the most important non-story of the day: Emma Watson, regardless of what Internet rumor you may have heard, is not starring in the movie version of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Said Emma this weekend, on Twitter, “Who here actually thinks I would do 50 Shades of Grey as a movie? Like really. For real. In real life.” Thank you, Hermione. Moving on . . .
— Those of you intrigued (me too) by the idea of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs will have to wait a bit: “jOBS,” which originally was due out on April 19, now has a release date of TBD. Maybe we’ll see it this winter?
— Stephen Fry has signed on for his first U.S. television comedy, playing opposite Rupert Grint in “Super Clyde” on CBS. His role is described as Randolph the butler, who works for Grint’s character Clyde; in other words, he’s “the Alfred to Clyde’s Bruce Wayne,” says Deadline.com. I like the sound of that.
— Saoirse Ronan, who’ll be on screen in “The Host” (a movie I am steadfastly ignoring in the hope that it will go away, but this strategy doesn’t seem to be working) next month, has signed to star in Ryan Gosling’s directorial debut “How to Catch a Monster,” alongside Christina Hendricks and Eva Mendes. The story is about a single mother (Hendricks) who discovers a dark underworld; Ronan (“Atonement”) describes it as “very experimental.” It’ll begin filming later this spring.
— And if you love Daniel Day-Lewis (who doesn’t? particularly after that cobbler thing?), this is your lucky week: The BBC is releasing two DVD sets with samples of Day-Lewis’s work as a young actor in British television in the 1980s, including the miniseries “My Brother Jonathan” in which he plays a young doctor around the time of World War I (better known now as the “Downton Abbey era”). Sounds like fun . . .