It’s always much more fun to make resolutions for other people, isn’t it? Mine are tiresome and involve maybe eating less movie popcorn and walking more and finally getting around to tweeting something . . . but for others, creative suggestions abound. A few:
- For all managers of Regal cinemas: I will stop, right now, having employees march through every screening holding a glowing red flashlight as if it were a sacred relic. Why do they do this, anyway?
- For Julian “Downton Abbey” Fellowes, as he plans Season 5: I will cast Judi Dench as a new cook/rival to Mrs. Patmore, Jude Law as a cad who lures Lady Edith into a posh jewel-thief ring, and Helena Bonham Carter as a tabloid journalist posing as a lady’s maid. Please?
- For Robert Downey Jr.: No matter how much money is dangled in front of me, I will resist the urge to make “Iron Man 4.” Enough is enough.
- For Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Recognizing that the big screen suits me very well, I will make another delightful romantic comedy for grown-ups, very soon.
- For everyone who owns a cellphone: I will think back to the time, not that long ago, when nobody thought it was at all unusual to be unreachable for two hours during a movie. And turn my damn phone off and enjoy the movie.
- For all who are in the business of creating movie subtitles: I will remember that white-on-white is hard to read.
- For Alfonso Cuaron, who has not yet announced his post-”Gravity” project: Recognizing that it has been nearly 20 years since “A Little Princess,” I will perhaps make another beautiful film for children — with a girl at its center.
- For all responsible for the prices of movie concessions: I will remember that Diet Coke with ice is not a controlled substance, and price it accordingly.
- For all talented filmmakers considering making a movie musical: Oh, I’ll do it. The world needs more song.
I could go on . . . but perhaps you have a few resolutions you’d like to add? Wishing everyone a festive and safe New Year’s Eve, and a very joyous 2014.