BY PATRICIA GRAY
(AKA SLAMBURGER PATTY)
In honor of David Letterman announcing his retirement earlier this week, here’s a Letterman-inspired Top 10 list of reasons you must go to a Rat City Rollergirls bout at KeyArena.
10) You’re sure to win casual Friday at the office by sporting your Rat City Rollergirls T-shirt and bragging about your weekend plans with 80 tough women.
9) Rat City Rollergirl Nehi Nightmare will throw chips at you during the bouts at KeyArena.
8) Where “hits like a girl” is a compliment.
7) Learn the lingo by becoming conversational in “Rollergirl” by tossing out terms like “star pass” and “power jam” at the watercooler on Monday.
6) Catch a free T-shirt from Rat Bastard, the only mascot in Seattle that could beat up the Mariner Moose and the Blitz at the same time without breaking a sweat.
5) Spend the next seven days brainstorming your own witty yet wicked roller-derby name.
4) Hockey calls it a penalty box, roller derby calls it a sin bin.
3) Where else can you see revolutionaries, space cadets, grease monkeys and your worst nightmare on roller skates?
2) Witness a championship game full of rink riots and intergalactic domination as the Derby Liberation Front takes on the Throttle Rocks in a battle for the first-place trophy.
1) Go home hip-checking your loved ones and dreaming about taking out angry mobs – while on roller skates.
The Throttle Rockets take on the Derby Liberation Front during Rat City Rollergirls home team championships this Saturday at 5:30 p.m. at KeyArena. See a preview of the game here. Tickets are available at Ticketmaster.com or in-person at Fast Girl Skates and Rudy’s Barbershop.
Patricia Gray is a skater for the Rat City Rollergirls known as Slamburger Patty. She has previously written for The Seattle Times.
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