If there were a dumb criminals’ hall of fame, this guy might be a first-ballot inductee.
All he did was drive drunk in a stolen car — the wrong way on a one-way street, we might add — and collide with a car and a Metro bus, according to police. He might have gotten away, except his wrecked car sputtered to a stop right in front of Seattle police headquarters.
Serendipity meet hopeless stupidity.
According to Seattle police, the bizarre chain of events started just before 6 p.m. Friday when the man sped in a stolen Ford Mustang the wrong way down one-way Second Avenue, where he collided head-on with an Audi driven by a parking valet. The man didn’t bother stopping.
Instead, he tossed a bottle of whiskey out the Mustang’s window and drove off, police said. Fortunately, the valet wasn’t seriously hurt — though we suspect his tip may have been impacted.
The driver then blasted through a red light at Fifth Avenue and James Street, where he managed to collide with a Metro bus, according to police.
He kept going, but the severely damaged Mustang could take no more. It broke down at Fifth and Cherry Street, right across from SPD headquarters, police said.
SPD Public Affairs Sgt. Sean Whitcomb just happened to be walking out of the building when he spotted the damaged Mustang rolling up the wrong way on Fifth. He ordered the man to stay put until the arrival of patrol officers, who arrested the hapless thief for investigation of hit and run, DUI and auto theft, police said.
According to police, the man admitted he had consumed eight shots of whiskey.